Controlling The Male Orgasm
 

While the stress in these chapters has been laid largely upon women's sexual problems, because they are definitely the greater, this section will be devoted to the male's only actual problem, that of self-control. It should at the same time make interesting reading for a woman; serve to make her understand why she is frequently unsatisfied in sex relationships, and perhaps enable her to take a more tolerant attitude where she is absolutely certain her husband is doing his best. What this represents has been described in another chapter, and a woman should never be satisfied with less.

It has been stated that woman's sexual problems are greater than man's from both points of view because each is concerned with them. She is concerned with seeing that she is satisfied, and he with seeing that he satisfies her. His satisfaction presents no difficulty. It may be possible for him to experience more enjoyment when his wife releases her inhibitions, but he will in any event be satisfied so long as she allows intimacy.

This is, however, not true for a normal woman. Too many conditions, elsewhere discussed, may interfere with her ultimate satisfaction, but nothing can interfere with the eventual satisfaction of the normal man. So long as he attains orgasm he is satisfied, and every normal man can attain it regardless of the conditions surrounding the intimacy.

He will experience orgasm whether or not he wears a condom, whether or not he practices coitus interrupts— withdrawal before orgasm and a most unsatisfactory method for more reasons than one—whether or not his wife uses an inserted contraceptive, whether or not the female hand is the medium, whether or not external genital contact induces climax, whether or not it be premature. In short, regardless of the conditions, any normal man will experience orgasm and consequent satisfaction. This is not necessarily true of a woman.

It may be well to define satisfaction in practical terms. Satisfaction is attained when orgasm has occurred and the individual man or woman has no immediate further desire for sexual intimacy. The male orgasm almost instantly produces that condition in any normal man. Not only does it almost immediately bring about complete satisfaction, but further dalliance in most cases becomes disagreeable. Unhappily, nature has constructed man in this fashion; he has absolutely no control over the feeling.
Thus, man has been created with three unfortunate weaknesses. He is quick to be aroused, he is speedily satisfied, and he loses the mood and inclination for further sex play almost immediately thereafter. It seems that nature has deliberately conspired against the sexual pleasure of woman; if both sexes had only one of the three differences in common, satisfactory intercourse would present less of a problem.

If man were as slow to arouse as are most women, relatively speaking, both would in all probability be ready for orgasm at approximately the same time, and a closer mutual satisfaction would result. But this is not the case, because man is normally ready for the climax long before his partner.

On the other hand, if man, quickly aroused as he is, required a prolonged excitation before reaching the climax, the female, although slow to become aroused, could overtake him eventually and be ready for orgasm at a time more in keeping with his. But, again, this is not the situation. Once the male is aroused, orgasm is speedily attained and just as speedily spent. The female cannot overtake him.

Alternatively, if following orgasm the male required a certain cooling period and his ardor abated slowly, he would still be in the mood to continue intimacy with his tardy partner despite the fact that he had already achieved his climax. Not only does the mood rapidly disappear; worse still, it is replaced by a distaste for prolong-gation, a distaste over which he has absolutely no control. Nature does not even allow him a neutral reaction, and he cannot with vigor and enthusiasm draw out the act too long once he has experienced orgasm. He wishes to be left alone.

Since nature has deliberately created complications, a way must be found to circumvent her, if possible. The only answer is to be found in man's ability to exercise some measure of type of self-control. He must do so if he is to insure his partner's satisfaction. The words "measure" and "type" have been used because self-control can be exercised by the degree of restraint, partial or complete, employed in controlling orgasm, or it can be exerted after the orgasm has occurred by forcing oneself to continue sex play even though further intimacy has become distasteful. Let us here examine the various types of self-control.

It is the habit of too many men to neglect the important and vital matter of foreplay almost entirely, engage in intimacy at once, and precipitate their own orgasm as rapidly as possible, either assuming or hoping that their partners will successfully pace them, or not caring whether they do so. These man make no attempt to exert self-control. There are an equal number who engage in foreplay so long as it suits them, whereupon they make connection and effect orgasm at their convenience. This group also ignores self-control.

There is another and smaller group which, although desiring orgasm, will extend the preliminaries to the last notch of their endurance, then make connection, whereupon orgasm occurs almost at once, whether or not their partners have completely sustained their climaxes. These men have partial self-control. There is still another and by far the smallest group who restrain their climaxes until the woman experiences hers in advance or simultaneously. This represents complete self-control. Also falling under this last classification are those men who, despite having attained orgasm prior to their partners, will nevertheless continue intimacy either by hand or penis, regardless of their discomfort, until the woman is completely satisfied.

Falling within these five groups are others whose behavior may vary, such as the man who may carry his restraint past the preliminaries and partially through the intercourse, but who is not quite able to maintain it to a point of female orgasm. Such a man possesses only partial self-control. Then there is the husband who, although almost completely neglecting foreplay, nevertheless does have the staying power to maintain an intimacy until his wife is satisfied. However, any variation will fall quite clearly into one of the five divisions, since these groups include the various degrees of restraint.

There are, however, two methods of insuring complete satisfaction for a woman and which are wholly free from any undesirable elements. They may be described as involving automatic control rather than self-control. These will result in the truest form of perfect intercourse, and should be among the first experiments made by the man who experiences so-called premature orgasm if he wishes to improve his technique. This will be further explained and enlarged upon.

It may be well to discuss at this point the relationship of so-called premature ejaculation to masturbation. First: every man is subject at times to premature ejaculation and often to the general tendency. Nature intended he should be. Second: normal premature ejaculation has no connection with masturbation. By this it is not meant that excessive masturbation may not have a bearing on an abnormal ejaculatory condition. The writer means only that the tendency to so-called premature ejaculation possessed by the normal average male has no relationship whatever to the normal masturbation he practiced as a boy.

To begin with, since almost every man has practiced the habit in his youth, and even subsequently, in more or less the same degree, the result should be that no one is capable of exerting self-control. However, many can; in fact, most men can if they make a serious attempt. Furthermore, the only difference between masturbation and sexual intercourse is the fact that sex magnetism and an imponderable psychic element are lacking. Even their presence in intercourse, however, does not relieve the purely physical stress on the various organs involved in the sex act. They only add to the enjoyment. It is perfectly possible to produce orgasm in masturbation with less physical effort than in intercourse, by merely massaging the underside of the head of the penis. Consequently, in the case of the average man, the relationship of youthful masturbation to early orgasm in intercourse is difficult to evaluate.

On the other hand, it is interesting to observe how the relationship of masturbation to orgasm is argued in reverse with respect to woman. There exists a considerable body of statistics purporting to indicate that the majority of women have also indulged in adolescent and adult masturbation. It is contended in the case of the female that this practice has slowed down, not speeded up, her orgastic impulses.

The theory is advanced that women who experience sex sensation not at the vagina but only at the clitoris can lay this defect to having engaged in clitoral masturbation. This form of indulgence, it is argued, has focused all sensation upon the clitoris with the result that women who have so engaged can experience little or no feeling to a point of impotence. Therefore, we are faced with the question, does masturbation hasten the orgastic process or retard it? It is more reasonable to assume that it does nothing, and to regard these male and female tendencies as completely normal conditions inasmuch as they are characteristic of the large majority.

There are certain occasions when every normal man capable of performing the sex act will undergo a so-called premature ejaculation or else be forced to modify his usual technique. This condition will occur at intervals when the male is more than usually aroused, perhaps when he has abstained from intercourse for a considerable period. This, of course, presumes that the partners are still physically attracted to each other. A man who for the first time is given the opportunity to be intimate with a woman who has been on his mind in a sexual way will also find it difficult to control himself. A widower who has been used to a generally passive wife and who suddenly finds himself married to a highly passionate woman, will at the outset also be carried far ahead of his usual pace. Too much handling by the female or too much activity in foreplay may also bring about premature ejaculation during the ensuing intercourse. What occurs is this: although the husband may apply himself to foreplay with his usual consideration, his imagination and expectation are so expanded during these preliminaries that, immediately upon inserting the male organ, the interior rhythm or contact alone will bring him to a climax almost at once.

Consequently, unless he wishes to complete the orgasm, he must either withdraw or temporarily cease activity until he quiets. More frequently than not, despite this forced inactivity, the ejaculation will proceed spontaneously. This is purely a matter of becoming extraordinarily aroused, perhaps mentally more than physically, and women are just as subject to such occurrences as men. Childhood masturbation does not enter into it.

There are other frequent occasions when a man becomes more than usually aroused for no explainable reason. At such times also, the male must depart from his usual procedure if he is to avoid the so-called premature orgasm. Obviously, self-control is not invariably attainable, and all men will be premature on occasion.

The fact is that the expression "premature orgasm" in its usual application is a misnomer. It is used critically to describe any male orgasm occurring before the female orgasm, and gives an impression of abnormality. Even though some authorities do make a distinction between an orgasm occurring either during foreplay or immediately upon insertion, and one occurring later but prior to the female orgasm, sometimes the distinction is not clarified. The impression remains that most men are victims of abnormal premature orgasm.

This is not at all true. The man who is the victim of actual premature orgasm is an exception and requires some form of treatment. True premature orgasm involves exclusively the constant habit of the male to ejaculate during foreplay or immediately upon insertion of his organ into the vagina. This and this alone is abnormal.

Under ordinary circumstances and in the process of normal intercourse, the male orgasm will always precede the female orgasm unless controlled. Since this is natural, it is hardly premature, and those who control it are actually behaving more unnaturally than those who do not. This is one situation in which nature must be defeated if man is to succeed in satisfying his partner.

Most men, once they have inserted the penis, will experience an orgasm, generally within two minutes, if they create a ceaseless, rhythmic motion. Their partners, unless previously conditioned by foreplay, will not usually react so quickly. There is nothing premature about this orgasm. It is early only with respect to the time of the female, and occurs within the time intended by nature.

There are times, also, when overexcitement in foreplay causes orgasm before insertion. This is not premature. A man can withstand just so much excitement, no matter how it is induced, before he gives way to orgasm. On the other hand, if a man continually achieves orgasm during only moderate foreplay, such orgasms are strictly premature, since they occur too frequently outside the boundaries of the average man's experience.

The question, then, is how to go about developing self-control. It should be emphasized that every normal man who engages in intercourse regularly can, except on occasions of unusual excitement, postpone the moment of orgasm until the proper time, the proper time being whenever he cares to have it, provided he can insure the fact that he will not leave his partner unsatisfied. This question of time is complicated by his partner's variable nature. She may be slowly aroused and slowly satisfied. She may be slow to arouse but quick to be satisfied. She may be quickly aroused and slowly satisfied. Finally, she may be quickly aroused and quickly satisfied. While it depends entirely upon the individual nature of the woman, usually no such individuality exists with respect to man.

When we realize that many men requiring only two or three minutes for sexual satisfaction are wed to women who may require thirty minutes, the nature of the problem becomes clear. We must, therefore, consider the elements which contribute to producing orgasm in the male and retard them until the time of proper release. There are only four principal ones: thought, sight, contact, and motion. Hearing and smell may also play a part, but it is too slight to be discussed.

Though the lover does not realize it, much of his sexual stimulation springs from the brain. Desire is only translated thought. All men know that an erection can be created simply by imagining an intimate situation with a woman. In actual intercourse, the brain is also at work, enabling man to experience the pleasure which comes from handling a woman's body or from realizing the extent of her emotion. Consequently, the brain must be harnessed, because it is the greatest stimulant when concentrated on man's own enjoyment, which primarily is where it does not belong.

In this connection, a word may be said regarding a form of sexual relationship known as the Karezza, a form of indulgence which may be described as immobile intercourse. Once coupled, the partners relax and revel in a pure state of mental ecstasy, maintaining no rhythm and attaining no orgasm. Those who can condition themselves to this type of relationship can be said to have achieved the unique ultimate in sexual sensation. All the most desirable elements are present; a lazy and lengthy state of delight; complete satisfaction for both partners; and a minimum of exertion. However, as much as the author believes in the power of mental enjoyment and advocates its development to the fullest degree, he doubts that any sensation was intended by nature to exceed that of the orgasm. It is unlikely that nature, whose primary object is the perpetuation of the race, would allow the existence of a sensation superior to the climax and one which would defeat her purposes.

Sight, naturally, will stimulate desire if the intimacy is conducted in the light. But in the dark, where most relationships take place, it loses importance.

Contact definitely increases passion. The female hand stroking or squeezing the penis can bring about orgasm. The male hand exploring the female body, as well as the mutual contact of genitals, will increase stimulation. Kissing contributes to the excitement, particularly if the woman has an eager mouth and an active tongue.

Lastly, the motion of rhythmic movement, once the penis has been inserted, will speedily bring about orgasm.

These, then, are the elements which contribute toward producing orgasm in the male. He must establish control over all of them.

What is said next may sound strange, but nevertheless, must be accepted if benefit is to result. It is not possible for a man to devote himself dutifully to satisfying his wife without sacrificing a measure of sexual convenience. However, to the same extent that he sacrifices his, he also increases hers. But—and all men are urged to regard this point seriously, because it represents the soul of perfect sexual compatibility—the mental satisfaction which results from realizing that one's partner is being gratified in a manner no other man can surpass, will transform itself in time to a feeling of pleasure which will far exceed the small measure of sexual convenience of which the male has deprived himself.

A man will grow to enjoy the gratification he is producing in his partner far more than any other emotion experienced in a relationship, outside of the orgasm, and it will leave him thoroughly satisfied and content. In doing this, he can bind his wife to him tighter than all the marriage vows can, because she will realize that there exists no other man with a greater capacity for giving her sexual comfort, and she will feel no urge to look elsewhere. In other words, in denying himself a certain amount of physical convenience, a man more than makes up for it in the mental enjoyment he acquires and which transforms itself into pure sexual pleasure.

Having said that man must sacrifice some of his sexual convenience, let us consider it. A woman can be thoroughly gratified only when she abandons herself completely to the pleasures of a relationship and is allowed to do so. Should a man indulge the identical tendency, his abandonment is short-lived and the relationship is speedily terminated. Therefore, he dare not do so. Since nature has created him with this desire, any restraint he imposes upon himself naturally reduces his pleasure. How is he to contain himself without destroying his enjoyment?

Let us start with the control of thought. If a man concentrates thoroughly upon his procedure for successfully arousing his wife and estimates the extent of her passion from time to time, he will discover that he cannot do this and simultaneously keep his mind exclusively upon the pleasure he alone is extracting from intimacy. He will feel only an indirect enjoyment from his own excitement, since no one can fully concentrate upon two things at the same time. He will discover also that he will enjoy his wife's reactions and that they will become more important to his pleasure than his own physical excitement, which can easily be heightened at will. Since this constant watching for his wife's reaction is a mental process, the physical is retarded, and he will observe that she constantly rises to a higher pitch while he can maintain a fairly consistent level.

It is not possible, however, for a man to avoid momentarily abandoning himself to the voluptuous enjoyment which follows when he first clasps his nude partner and their bodies seek each other in intimate embrace. He will find, nevertheless, that a minute of this unrestrained pleasure produces quite a release of tension and expectation, and that he can then turn his attention to the important matter of arousing his partner. He will observe, too, that his own excitement will mount more gradually with his partner's, following hers, instead of leading.

Regarding sight, little control is required. If the intimacy takes place in the dark, it is an unimportant element. Even in the light, its effect is no more than an initial and passing source of excitement. The lover may run his eyes for a few moments over the desirable features of his partner, but eye appetite is quickly satisfied, and the pleasure that ensues from the mingling of the bodies at once crowds eye appeal to the background.

Contact is the second factor most important in preventing the delay of orgasm. Thought is subtle and nebulous, but contact is aggressive and immediate. The real danger lies in the fact that too much motion on the part of the male at the outset of foreplay will arouse him to a condition of intense excitement at a time when that of his partner is just beginning to develop. Since foreplay requires initially a relaxed, searching, and watchful attitude by the male, an excess of bodily exertion at the outset must be minimized. Moreover, although it gives him pleasure to have his partner fondle his genitals and although it may also be pleasurable to the partner, he must limit it and put a complete stop to it as soon as he begins to feel involuntary spasms in the penis and no later than the first dull suggestion of tingling, which is the forerunner of speedy orgasm. However, if he devotes his exclusive attention toward arousing his partner, it is possible for the female to fondle the male organ extensively without creating the risk of early climax.

Oddly, the average woman is awkward in handling the male genitals, and frequently lacks the capacity to produce orgasm in that manner, except after much effort which tires her, bores her, and irritates the male. She seems to lack an instinctive conception of the proper technique, and remains a slow pupil even when instructed. Any man, regardless of his immaturity, easily excels her in the delicate matter of arousing excitement. Her mouth is her chief asset. The wife who would be effective in deliberately arousing her husband must learn to use her hands with a certain amount of understanding. This is important, since a woman who is in a sexual mood may find it necessary on occasion to stimulate a husband who, while not averse to relationship, may at the time be indifferent to one. The wife is entitled to make her desires known, and she should do so.

Seat of Sensitivity

In this connection then, a woman should bear in mind that, however she begins to stimulate the male organ, the same procedure should be unceasingly maintained until it produces the desired result. It should be gentle, because the nerves in the head of the penis are as sensitive as those of the clitoris. Too much pressure upon the clitoris will deaden its sensitivity; it has the same effect on the penis. To use her hand in a satisfactory manner, a woman should be certain that the rhythmic motion includes brushing the underside of the glans with her hand; or she can concentrate upon this section of the head entirely with her ringer, rubbing the underside in much the same manner as the male massages the clitoris. The head of the penis, particularly the under portion, is actually the center of male sensation as indicated on the foregoing diagram. The remainder is not too responsive and reacts largely through sympathy. Once sensation becomes strong, she may then grasp the entire organ and apply a rhythmic movement.

Like most men, women also expect immediate reaction from whatever technique they employ. Should the male fail to respond with rapidity, they introduce another approach, returning to the original after a period of unsuccessful experimentation. Each change of procedure causes the emotion of the partner to drop, until finally the matter becomes a wearisome chore for which women lack future enthusiasm. But it is as much their duty to be capable in this respect as it is their husbands'.

A woman with an active mouth can raise havoc with a man's emotions if he allows himself to concentrate on its stimulating quality. But if he makes it his purpose to match her oral ardor, which is an unconscious manifestation of her mounting passion, he will be dwelling on his own performance rather than hers. In this way he will not only increase her emotion but will offset the ability she may have to stimulate him.

His hands are his most important asset. They do the greatest part of the preliminary work and usually prolong the female orgasm. A man with a delicate, caressing touch is a far more adequate lover than one with only a well-developed penis. Although his investigation of the female body is capable of inducing erection in the male it cannot produce orgasm in him unless he is a victim of premature ejaculation in its correct sense. However, it is normal for the inexperienced adolescent or an adult who has infrequent sexual society, or who has never engaged in intercourse, to ejaculate upon merely touching the private zone of a woman, provided some prestimulating activity has already taken place. He has not yet become accustomed to the regular opportunity of fondling the female body, opportunity that accompanies a state of matrimony. To him, touching a female breast or surface genitals, even though covered with clothing, represents one of the ultimates in his sexual experience. It is not surprising that his mind should carry him to orgasm as it does any normal male who has had a voluptuous dream.

These, then, are the types of control involved in contact. We now arrive at intercourse, the only infallible and positive method that will produce a speedy orgasm in every normal male. While this is also a matter of contact, it has been given its own place, because it is by its nature not dependent on any other means of excitation included in sexual relationship and will insure climax with greater rapidity and facility than anything else.

Copulation taxes all men, even those with self-control, to the utmost, because a second of movement too much on the part of either male or female will cause the former to attain orgasm. Furthermore, the tendency is such that, once having started the motion, the male finds the sensation so overpowering that he feels compelled to continue it until climax is achieved.

Supposing, however, that at the moment of insertion, it will take the female three minutes to reach orgasm and that her orgasm or orgasms will endure for another four. Is it possible for the male to stretch his inadequate two minutes into the seven required by his partner? While the answer is a positive one, it cannot be done with full physical pleasure to the male. It cannot be done by relying strictly upon the movement of the penis to bring about satisfaction of his partner during the seven minutes required.

It stands to reason that, if a rhythmic motion of steady or increasing rapidity will produce orgasm in the male in the neighborhood of two minutes, the only way to extend it beyond that time is to reduce the speed. Consequently, the male must cut his rhythm down and frequently stop completely, because the mental excitement of knowing he is closely connected with his partner also adds impetus to the approaching orgasm. Since the sensation is so delightful, he neither wishes to reduce his rhythm nor stop, yet he is forced to do one or the other or both. This opposition to nature's impulse is both difficult and undesirable.

Since his partner's orgasm is completely dependent upon a constant and uninterrupted flow of movement, every interruption also reduces the height of her ecstasy. As a result, she cannot attain orgasm or have her orgasm prolonged unless one partner continuously maintains the rhythm; if this is done, he will experience orgasm before her and perhaps thereafter be unable to extend the intimacy to the point necessary for her satisfaction. The problem is greater where the male requires two minutes and the female perhaps fifteen minutes.

There are only three solutions to this difficulty: the male must stimulate his partner digitally to a point approximating orgasm before he inserts himself, and thereafter depend upon the two minutes and his endurance following his own orgasm to bring his partner complete satisfaction; or, while reducing his rhythm, he must continue to stimulate her digitally so that no interruption occurs, at the same time forcing his mind to dwell on something quite outside the relationship; or he must force himself, following his orgasm, to continue the rhythm either digitally or by the penis. This last can be very difficult for the male.

It will be recalled that this chapter has previously referred to a condition described as "automatic control." When this exists, or has been created—though it is not attainable on occasions when the male is highly excited— the most satisfactory kind of relationship faces the female, with little inconvenience to the male. Once this condition has been achieved, future repetitions of it with the same woman can follow with desirable frequency, and the husband realizes that he has become as proficient in sexual intercourse as is possible. The man who finds it difficult to delay orgasm should start immediately to experiment with this.

As all married men know, there are occasions when sexual intimacy has no particular appeal to them. They are not necessarily tired, nervous, or mentally or physically disturbed. They simply have no sexual desire for their wives at that time.

The fact that man experiences no physical desire at a certain period does not mean that he is incapable of being aroused. A male can be excited at any time whether he be tired or rested, nervous or calm. Kisses or bodily contact may not be effective, but the penis will unfailingly be erected if the female fondles it. Once the penis is rigid, desire will eventually result.

This being the case, there is absolutely no reason why he should deny his wife his sexual society if she desires it. The fact that he lacks the mood does not mean that intimacy will prove unhealthful or ultimately distasteful. If he now encourages it, he will discover that his staying power is immeasurably increased, and with good reason. Since his attitude is one of indifference, the brain fails to build up expectation and sexual excitement. The burden is placed almost entirely upon his physical reaction, and he approximates the condition of a woman slow to arousal. His hands explore the female body, but the movement is largely mechanical and his mind extracts little pleasure from it. Even kissing lacks flavor, and erection develops slowly.

This mood, however, does not transmit itself to the female. If he goes about his duties properly, her excitement increases. Finally, when she is ready for the insertion of the male organ, he will discover that his usual period is considerably extended and that he can maintain the rhythmic motion for a longer interval before being forced to reduce his pace. He can with greater ease delay his orgasm to a time more in keeping with his partner's need for satisfaction, and the woman's enjoyment can be heightened considerably. The degree of control he must practice on this occasion is very slight compared with that which he must generally exert when he is highly stimulated; the brain has not been too much involved. The result is that he behaves automatically, and control takes care of itself.

The same condition will manifest itself if he assumes the underneath position, since the physical factor contributing the most to his orgasm is the amount of genital movement the male exerts, whether he be inserted or not. Any man knows it is possible to bring about orgasm simply be moving his organ against the vulva, the stomach, or between the female breasts, if he maintains the friction long enough. Frequently, he even finds it necessary to move his organ when it is held in the female hand, so inexpert may she be in this matter.

In this position, the male has only to lie relaxed, studying and enjoying the development or extent of his partner's passion; or if this becomes too stimulating, centering his attention on other things, perhaps running over in his mind the events of the day. When the woman has completely satisfied herself, he can then, without shifting his position, and with deep penetrating, lifting thrusts, almost swooningly pleasurable to a highly passionate woman, bring about his own orgasm. Unfortunately, some men do not care for this position. This however, should be of little importance to an adequate lover, since his emotions are the less important of the two.

Liquor has an inconsistent influence on sexual behavior in that sometimes it will heighten passion, particularly in women, and at other times lower it, depending upon the quantity absorbed and the mood of the individual. However, a man who has consumed a favorable quantity under agreeable circumstances will discover that he can perform an adequate sex act. Alcohol seems to have a dulling effect upon the penis, at times limiting the rigidity of erection and giving it a certain pliability. When the male organ is in a state of limp erection, orgasm is not so readily attained as when erection is intense. Many women prefer this condition when it can be achieved.

However, it must be noted that, under some circumstances, overindulgence in alcohol may lead to temporary impotence. More than one bridegroom has discovered, to his embarrassment on his wedding night, that he was unable to perform his marital function. Under any circumstances, it is a dangerous practice to utilize the unpredictable effects of alcohol for the purpose of developing sexual staying power.

The average man finds it difficult to delay his climax primarily because of the fact that he engages in intercourse only when he is very much in the mood. His desire may have started even while he was at work or early in the evening, and he goes through hours of expectation with his imagination highly stimulated. Consequently, he is well on the road to orgasm after only a few minutes of foreplay.

Another source of trouble is that many couples do not engage in intercourse with sufficient frequency. The best and most successful relationship is by no means always that which the male anticipates. Frequently it results in a complete failure, caused by the fact that he is too stimulated to exercise the necessary control. The act is completed too quickly for both partners. People do not eat only when they are starving, nor do they sleep only when exhausted. Why, then, should a man make love to his wife only when he is in an advanced state of sexual excitement? The unpremeditated, relaxed session is often more enjoyable than the tense, pent-up, explosive interval, and frequent love-making conditions self-control.

The problem of developing self-control should be an easy one for those men who practice coitus interrupts, the habit of withdrawing the male organ just prior to orgasm as a birth-control method. In regarding it as a menace to the mental and physical well-being of both men and women, the medical profession assumes that many a man withdraws before his partner is satisfied and consequently leaves her in a trouble state, mentally and physically. It is true that such a constant process may undermine her health.

On the other hand, if a man is forced to resort to it, but only after the female is first thoroughly gratified, the practice cannot be injurious to a woman. When consistently engaged in, it is decidedly harmful to the male. Occasional indulgence will not, however, have deleterious results.

However, from the standpoint of pure enjoyment, coitus interrupts is most unsatisfactory. A man experiences a serious mental and physical strain in determining the precise moment to withdraw. This inevitably interferes with his pleasure, and he suffers a feeling of depression and incompleteness when orgasm occurs following withdrawal. But, since this technique necessitates the most rigorous self-control, any man who practices it can easily bring into play the less stringent requirements necessary to achieve delayed orgasm.

A brief word should be devoted to another condition which, while not too common, can be most disturbing to an individual afflicted by it. It is a sexual impotence which can occur at indeterminate periods when the male has been denied constant sexual society over a long interval or even at a time when his sex life is following a perfectly normal routine.

This condition is just the reverse of an undelayable orgasm and presents itself in the inability of the male to develop erection. He may have a definite desire for intercourse, but despite his emotion the penis cannot attain rigidity. He may find himself perfectly competent with one woman and helplessly inadequate with another. His sexual nature is not involved, for a male of moderate passion can become just as much a victim of the disorder as one of violent emotion. It occurs frequently when a man finds himself sexually engaged with a woman for the first time, but it can occur with his wife if his excitement is excessive. On such occasions, no amount of genital play can bring the penis to a rigid state.

Many men beset by this unpredictable inconvenience are terrified by the thought that their virility is beginning to dwindle; that they are victims of premature impotence. Such a belief has no foundation. Some youths of twenty are as much afflicted as is a man of fifty, and the sexual potential of the latter is far from exhausted at that age.

This constant fear of vanishing sexual energy gradually assumes a paramount importance in the victim's mind, and he expects every sexual session to terminate in frustration. This results in continuous mental uneasiness which, unfortunately, aggravates the affliction.

Where this condition is not the result of organic changes, which should be determined by medical consultation, it is purely psychological, and a man is foolish to torture himself with the specter of impotence. Constant sexual association of a compatible nature will frequently eliminate this disturbance. But when it persists, it requires hypno-therapy or psychiatric treatment, not because the individual is a mental case, but because the root of the trouble is located in some mental distortion. The psychiatrist will track it down, adjust it to the shape of truth, and give it its proper value. He will eventually succeed in convincing his patient that he is perfectly normal physically and establish self-confidence. Were it possible for the sexually harassed male to realize this at the outset, the condition would in all probability take care of itself.

But with respect to the most prominent problem, the undelayed orgasm, it is strongly recommended that a man so annoyed start experimenting immediately with the woman-above position. Once he has achieved the ability to postpone climax, he will develop a self-confidence which works psychologically upon his ability to operate from any position. This matter of control, whether it be "self" or "automatic" should be strictly pursued by every man who loves his wife and strives to keep her physically, mentally, and healthfully happy.